yesterday

Was a good day,
I got to see Marshall, it had only been a week since I had seen him last but it felt like forever and a day.
The day passed too quickly.
It felt so nice to fall asleep in his arms again
I am leaving for San Diego at midnight on the 21st
I am excited, not for the nine hour bus ride of course, but to get out of this hell hole that I, for some reason, refer to as home.
I just wish I could stay away from this wretched place
Working at Sears, and dealing with stupid people,
even the smart ones
is driving me mad,
I can't handle wearing this plastic, smiling salesman's mask any longer
it's too much for me
to reapply this smile, this grin,
to recite over and over,
these lies
to push people that I don't know into buying something that I truly know nothing about.
It's making me frail,
emotionally, and mentally
the mental exertion needed to keep this smile plastered on my face is driving me mad.
I need to break free.
I need to be me again
I need to find myself again
be true to myself again
in doing so, begin to love myself again.